We don’t have to love ourselves perfectly to find awesome love, but we have to be on the path to self-love. This also means that whomever we choose to be in a relationship with should be on that path, too.

There will never be a perfect moment where we love ourselves perfectly and then we can be in a relationship. It’s a constant process of discovery with no end. But for a relationship to thrive and for intimacy to emerge, each person must be dedicated to growth; otherwise, you will hit a wall.

A huge revelation for me recently has been that nobody, including myself, is perfect. It sounds obvious when I write it, but for many years I would meet people and project this expectation of perfection on to them. And I would get mad, angry and hurt when they wouldn’t meet that expectation.

So, I’ve recently decided that from the beginning of any relationships I start, that I want to acknowledge my own imperfection as well as the imperfection of the other person and consciously choose to enter into a relationship not seeking perfection, but rather loving each other’s imperfections. And instead of looking to the other person to meet all our needs perfectly, to take our eyes off of ourselves and put them on The Uni-verse.

I believe that the only perfect Love is the Love of God. We are constantly nurtured by it: with oxygen, with sun, with community and with free will. We are fully supported in this life by God. It is the thoughts of lack, of fear and of neediness that make us feel as if we are not.

When we remember this, we can remember our true essence and start to be at peace. When we realize that the only perfect love is the Love of God, we can no longer have the insane expectations that other people are perfect and expect perfect love from them.

We then step into the reality of imperfection that is the human condition. This is a humble place and it is from this humble place that we acknowledge that we need to grow, to work on ourselves and to walk the Path of self-love. To be in relationship with someone who isn’t on this path makes Love very difficult.

So, are you willing to step out into self-love? Are you willing to set a high standard to let people into your life who have the same commitment?

Be Blessed

Gossiper

Blog’s topic originated from “The Daily Love”

Get a stamp made, dip it in your favorite color ink, and mash it on your forehead: SELF-APPROVED! Live by it, die by it, because that’s what you ought to be- Self-Approved. No one on this Earth can value you more than you; no one can validate you; no one else determines your self-worth except your SELF. There is a reason why some of the most important qualities to have starts with “self” -self-respect, self-esteem, self-worth, self-love- Those things don’t exist to the world around us if they don’t exist in the world withIN us. Self-approve yourself now because you won’t find quality in outside relationships until you find quality in your relationship with yourself.

Be Blessed

Gossiper

Being single (in the unmarried phase) is a constant learning lesson. Dating is like Marriage Bootcamp in a way (Hmmm, I think I’ve said that before in an older blog- see, redundant!). What I am learning is that being in a relationship is more than just loving that person. A relationship takes more than merely love to make it work. Love is a needed puzzle piece, but it’s crucial to also have communication, trust, friendship, respect, and purpose. Purpose being something that I’ve recently opened my eyes to through this video of Will & Jada on Oprah talking about the “Business of Marriage.” Peep the video below:

The-Smiths-Talk-About-Their-Marriage-and-Family-Plan-Video

Love & Relationships are not for the weary, that’s for sure!

Be Blessed

Gossiper

The message behind the article simply states find your own happiness within and don’t let anyone else define it for you. Before you can find happiness in anyone else, can you find it yourself, without letting anyone define it for you?

That is the question. I think a lot of us may think we are safer and better off with detaching ourselves from the reality of our feelings so that we may avoid getting hurt by someone.  Is that safer? To be numb to the hurt and pain? I think not, because it’s through that hurt and pain where we learn about ourselves, others, and what we want out of life and love itself. One thing I can say is numb yourself to how much time and energy you put into worrying about what’s to come from a relationship. I have spent many days and nights biting my nails, drying tears, and pondering over “what-if this? what-if that?!” But all the time invested has gotten me nowhere but to the bottom of a wine bottle (let’s keep it real), at the end of the “Slow Jams Mix,” and feeling lonelier than ever.  A friend of mine recently proclaimed “I am too old to be worry about if someone is doing me wrong or right…” and that’s the Gospel truth! I don’t want to waste away my time and feelings worrying about things I have NO control over. I had an epiphany that I have to trust God to reveal to me what I need to know, and realize that from it I will grow into what He wants me to become. I truly believe what’s done in the dark WILL SURELY come to the light. You can believe that.

So, to all the singles out there going through the trials and tests of finding the one, remember- Don’t spend your time worrying. What is to come WILL come, and I believe every child of God WILL have their happy ending, no matter what the chapters look like.

In the meantime…

Still Single,

Gossiper

For the Single’s that may be spending Valentine’s Day alone, have no fear, I have some ideas here!!!!

*Hang out with other single friends. Start like a “Domination of The Singles,” and intrude on every place a couple may be! Movies, restaurant, bowling alley, so on and so forth! HA!

*Try something new like a dance class, Yoga, art class, or anything else “cool” that you always wanted to at least try!

*Cook yourself dinner! And I’m talking a full out meal! It’ll be nice practice for when you cook for someone else!

*Go on a blind date. Ask one of your good friends to hook you up for fun and give it a go! HA! What do you got to lose!?

Have a beautiful Valentine’s! ♥

With Love,

Gossiper

#SheIsWifey if she’s NOT IMPRESSED by others LIFESTYLE but yet CONTENT w/ the one u PROVIDE…

#SheIsWifey if u THINK HER b4 YOU…

#SheIsWifey if she’s ur BEST FRIEND above all…

#SheIsWifey if she UNDERSTANDS ur GRIND & helps MOTIVATE it…

#SheIsWifey if she carries herself w/ RESPECT whether w/ or without you…

#SheIsWifey if she COOKS 4 u w/ PASSION, not ATTITUDE…

Also, I once heard that the single woman’s wish is to not be single anymore…True?

I’m interested in YOUR responses this month… Get at me! Inquiring minds want to know what’s up!?

In the meantime

Still Single,

Gossiper

If you expect the person you are dating to treat you wrong. they will!

When you don’t think you deserve good to come to you, it won’t!

If don’t think you’ll ever find the right one, guess what- you won’t!

Negative thoughts become the death of you & your happiness; mark my words.

In relationships and dating I realized you have to speak life into your dealings with that significant other. Pray about it. Be positive and love yourself first and foremost.

Good can’t happen to you if you don’t let it. Realize you are worth all the good in the world, and speak that into your existence!

In the meantime…

Still Single,

Gossiper

Being single you learn to grow as a person on your own; being in a relationship you learn to grow as a person in a unit. Being married… Well, I’ll leave that one to Miss Gossip to explain! In general, there is a whole lot of growing to do, and boy do I have a lot to learn!? Little things like being selfish can break a relationship; lying (no matter how small or “white” the lie may be) breaks trust in a relationship; and not talking openly about concerns can lead to a great deal of miscommunication.

When you are dating it’s like you know those rules but you don’t apply them. Then after you mess something up you have a light-bulb moment like “oh yeah, but I kneeew better!” If you knew better you’d do better… So while on your single journey folks just be mindful of not only your feelings but the feelings of those you are involved with. Dating is truly a crash course to marriage; make the best of it and don’t screw it up.

In the meantime…

Still Single,

Gossiper

Steven started off the article with a list of Stupid Questions Women Ask Men, here’s one that I found sadly comical:

At what point do you think you will be ready for a commitment? – It does not matter when he is going to be ready, you are ready now. Chances are he won’t be ready for a relationship until you are ready to be single.

Just like Steven pointed out obviously you are ready for the commitment now, and he is not, so move along instead of asking questions you know the answer to. He will be ready when he gets good and ready, and you will (hopefully) be out the door by then! Like a Snickers candy bar- why wait? Especially if he is playing games you don’t want to entertain.

Here’s a Stupid Question Men Ask Women:

What do you want from me? – The first thing a man has to do is offer his best. Not what is convenient. Not what is easy or comfortable to do. Offer your best. Offer what God has given you to give to her. Your best will be more than what she would ask for.

Steven couldn’t have said it better- offer your BEST! Why half-do something?

I hope all single people are dating with purpose! Don’t just be running around asking stupid questions that you know the answer to or possibly don’t want to know the answer to. Be real. Be 100.

Steven J Dixon is  the author of “Men Don’t Heal, We Ho” – A Book About The Emotional Instability of Men

- Available only on StevenJamesDixon.com

Check out his work, the boy is good!

In The Meantime…

Still Single,

Gossiper