Lauryn Hill said it best “It could all be so simple, but [we] rather make it hard”. There is no real struggle in wanting simple things, a simple job and a simple relationship. However, high achievement always takes place in the framework of high expectation.

With expectation come struggles, endurance, challenges, but ultimately great rewards. Hard work is a necessary ingredient to succeed in our life endeavors. A lot of us are not happy right now because our dreams haven’t been fulfilled of the career we want, the kind of lifestyle we want to live, and the relationship we desire to have, all a result of not having met our expectations. But perhaps if you stick with the job you already have, accept the lifestyle you’re currently living, or finally give that woman or man that says they like you a chance, you might be completely satisfied with life. But is that throwing in the towel or just accepting the reality of your life?

As we mature in our existence, our expectations may change and hopefully with sensible high standards that may have to come with some reasonable compromise. Also realizing that consequently some of our expectations may be too high (unrealistic) and may cause our lives to be miserable trying to achieve those goals.

When good judgment of your soul becomes contagious and starts to affect your mind and your heart you should expect for God to bless you abundantly. It says in Proverbs 24:14 so shall the knowledge of wisdom be unto thy soul: when thou hast found it, then there shall be a reward, and thy expectation shall not be cut off. What God has for you will be for you! He is listening to the desires of your heart and if it is His will than it shall come to pass. We often get frustrated when things don’t go the way we want or when we want them to. Not understanding that God is preparing us for our blessings and during our preparation, tests may come our way. In which are used to see if we really want or will take for granted the rewards He will give us. I don’t know about you but I have my armor on ready for any battles that I may face to get to my aspirations and when the battle is over you won’t see a clean combat attire but one that is banged up, torn, and maybe a little bloody. So when I’m standing in triumph, my rewards will be earned and fully appreciated. No one will be able to take that away from you or me; in fact our blessings will be able to bless others. We must remember any expectation no matter how great or small is achievable through the Grace of God.

Happy Holidays,

Mr. I.N.S.P.I.R.E.

(Inspiring & Notably Spreading Positivity In Relationships Everywhere)

Innocent: free from guilt or sin especially through lack of knowledge of evil.

Remember as a child life seemed so free and there really wasn’t a care in the world besides coming in the house at a certain time? You had no worries and every experience was a new adventure filled with thrills and excitement. Didn’t have stress about paying bills, being broke, or taking on major responsibilities. You were told what to do. Then we grow up and as we grow we are exposed to new and different experiences like responsibilities, possessions or lack thereof, relationships, and people in general. And in those situations our innocence, slowly but surely slips away. Some of us lose our innocence quicker than others when we start experiencing the evil pleasures of this world like sex, drugs, money, and negativity (violence, hating, etc). We start to realize the outcomes from some of the decisions we made make life not so fun anymore. In addition there are a lot of things that we won’t know about so we don’t know what the outcome will be until it happens. We as people have a tendency to let certain outcomes in life affect us to the point where it changes how our mind, heart, and spirit operate. In some ways it’s okay to change because we have learned from the past experiences of what we should do in situations; however in a lot of cases we turn for the worst.

This is the reason that whatever you went through in life it has such a profound effect on you that it almost controls you and can make you indignant. A good example would be going through a bad relationship. Due to what happened with your ex we will make the next person suffer when really all we’re doing is making ourselves suffer in the end. We have to realize people will fail us sometimes and we will fail people. Some things are unexpected but there are many times when we know what it is and refused to except it and rather be in denial. Our emotions can take over our brain. The devil wants to corrupt us and as we become corrupt we can/will corrupt others.

You should never let a man, woman, sex, drugs, shopping or any obsession control you where it influences your life and your relationship with God. It says in Psalm 19:13 Keep back thy servant also from presumptuous sins; let them not have dominion over me: then shall I be upright, and I shall be innocent from the great transgression. Keep part of your Innocence; if you lost it try to get it back, don’t let this world destroy you!

From the definition we can never be innocent because we were born in sin and greater the knowledge the less innocent we become. So does that mean we shouldn’t learn? Of course not, remember Jesus is innocent because he is without sin and wrongdoings, so as long as he is in us our innocence will remain. That is why it’s important when you pray to ask God to renew your mind, body, and soul. Thank God that every day is a new beginning like of the innocence of a child!

Inspirationally Yours,

Mr. I.N.S.P.I.R.E.

(Inspiring & Notably Spreading Positivity In Relationships Everywhere)

We may only get one shot at life, but that doesn’t mean we only get one shot with the things in our life. In life we are given a certain amount of arrows and it’s up to us where we direct those arrows. Some shoot them with no real target; shoot them at the same targets and/or know where to shoot them but try to get a bulls-eye with every shot. Every arrow is a life lesson and is suppose to make us stronger, wiser, and better. Every target we don’t get can be seen as a wasted opportunity, but that is only if you don’t learn from those lessons (arrows). I believe we all, at one point, have no idea where to go or where to aim at. It’s important that at some point we find a real direction. As we get older we realize there will be distractions and obstacles challenging us from hitting our targets. Never stop shooting! You have to endure. One of my favorite bible verses comes from Matthew 10:22- and you will be hated by all for my name’s sake. But the one who endures to the end will be saved. We are suppose have distractions or bad habits to keep us from reaching are ultimate goals. There WILL be people that you know are not good for your life that will only bring you down and keep you from progressing, and we will all become victims at some point; but I’m sure you heard it before “If He brought you to it, He will bring you through it,” even if you brought the it on yourself!

We are not perfect and some people have greater strengths than others, but according to Ecclesiastes 9:11-Again I saw that under the sun the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, nor bread to the wise, nor riches to the intelligent, nor favor to those with knowledge, but time and chance happen to them all. With God being the Master Archer not only will he shoot the arrows for you but He will give you an endless supply of arrows, and will continually shower down blessings on your life.

God may sit high but He will walk in the deepest, darkest valleys with you too, as long as you keep shooting them arrows and asking him to lead them to your targets.

Inspirationally Yours,

Mr. I.N.S.P.I.R.E.

(Inspiring & Notably Spreading Positivity In Relationships Everywhere) 

As a young man still learning the inexhaustible characteristics of a woman I seem to always find myself caught in a particular lecture called “Things a Man Should be Doing for a Woman.” I hear from women all the time about the things their mother, grandma, aunt, etc. tells them of how a man should treat a lady. He should be respectful, open doors, always offer to pay when you go out, cater to your needs, be courteous, a protector, provider, and the list goes on. I, for one, honestly agree! I see nothing wrong with a man doing all of those things, in fact, I encourage females to have high standards and expect that from a man. The one thing that does trouble me is for some females the lines of communication got mixed up or the channel got cut off when that motherly figure spoke about “How a Woman Should Treat a Man.”

A princess or queen should be treated as a princess or queen; conversely a prince or a king needs to be treated as a prince or king. I feel why would you expect for a man to give you the world if you’re not willing to do the same for him? I understand women and men work in different ways, however we need special attention just like you do. You may have heard of the 5 languages of love: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch. While all 5 of these languages are important, each individual values their importance in unique ways. It is up to you to know and find out which ones are the most important to your partner.

For example, I may love getting gifts but I may prefer to get words of affirmation. This may be the reason he’s always asking you questions like “How do you feel about me?” or “Do you care/love me?” When you make the effort to really understand a person and what makes them happy, not only will that person return the favor, but you will be satisfied on the notation that you made him happy as well. This is of course if you find a person who is already willing to do these things. We also have to remember it’s not all about making a person happy, but making a person better as well. What do you bring to the table or what can you offer to the relationship? In the Bible it talks about being equally yoked and iron sharpening iron. With this, not only will the relationship be a good relationship, but it will be better than you imagined.

The perfect example of balance comes from the King of the Jungle; the lioness (queen) are the ones that hunt and bring back the food, while the male lion’s (the king) job is to protect the entire pride from any intruders. While they are 2 different tasks they are both equally important for their survival, happiness and well being. So to all of the Princesses/Queens- always treat your Princes/Kings right as long as he continues to fight for your kingdom.

Inspirationally Yours,

Mr. I.N.S.P.I.R.E.

(Inspiring & Notably Spreading Positivity In Relationships Everywhere) 

We have the tendency to hold on to things that we know we shouldn’t be holding on to. Whether it’s those pairs of shoes in your closet that you haven’t worn in 3 years, but you have them just in case; or what about the clothes that has no business being in your possession for various reasons (i.e. can’t fit them anymore, lol); or even friends that really have no uplift in your life, and oh and yes, that significant other that you can’t seem to let go of.

All of those things you know in your heart has come to a point where they need to be relieved of their duties, and yet we keep them around even when they have no more value in our life. I heard that in life the only way we can truly achieve our goals is to first make sacrifices. It says in 1Corinthians 5:7 Purge out therefore the old leaven, that ye may be a new lump, as ye are unleavened. For even Christ at passover is sacrificed for us. The word sacrifice means to get rid of something in order to gain for something else that is better. Even God made a sacrifice- He gave us Christ. So when we hold on to things we are limiting ourselves to better our circumstances.

If someone told you that if you get rid of your old junked up car you will be blessed with a brand new car of your dreams, you would think of course I’ll take that deal, but the sad thing is a lot of us will stick to the ol’ raggedy car anyway. For reasons of you being attached to it-  all the memories you shared, and even because you feel you’re not ready for something new-what you may not know is every time you drive that car it devalues the true person you are; it becomes more of a hassle for you, and honestly that car may be better suited for someone else than you- and that’s OK! If you’re not satisfied with what you have now, you have to believe that God has something better than what you have in your current situation. That’s when it is okay to let those things go and don’t have to worry about what will happen to it. When you work for the Lord, I promise He will work for you! What God had for you might not be for you anymore, but what He has and will have for you will be AMAZINGLY better!

Inspirationally Yours,

Mr. I.N.S.P.I.R.E.

(Inspiring & Notably Spreading Positivity In Relationships Everywhere)

It seems like with everything in life we are always over analyzing every crucial decision we make in our lives. Whether, it’s a job, what degree we should major in, hair style, clothes to wear, and oh yes, that significant other. There are different reasons why we over-think or hesitate on making these tough decisions, but I feel the main reason is because we are uncertain of the outcome. Not having a sense of control or not knowing how things will be is and can be very frightening. But like my high school football coach would say “If you’re scared, go anyway!” This could apply to any situation you’re in.

My favorite bible verse comes out of Joshua 1:9 9-Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the LORD thy God is with thee wheresoever thou goest. Sometimes stepping off the ledge gives us a bigger relief and/or sense of accomplishment than the end result. With every journey we discover something valuable that we can take to our next path. Of course it may be positive as well as negative, but nevertheless this gain of knowledge will assist with the next passage of your life; only if you allow it too. Life is an endless journey. The situations that we survive through can make you better and stronger if you don’t give it the authority to corrupt you. This is all about knowing who you are, but most importantly who you belong to, because when you know that He is with you. The journey won’t not seem that bad, the decision will work out for the best, and that sense of control that you thought you didn’t have, you really do have because it was in God’s hands all along.

Don’t see it as the choice of fear, but the choice of the Lord. It says in Joshua 24:22 22-And Joshua said unto the people, Ye are witnesses against yourselves that ye have chosen you the LORD, to serve him. And they said, We are witnesses. Remember the decision you make, rather good or bad, will ultimately make you a witness to the glory of the Lord. So when faced with a decision and you are scared, keep in mind that you will never be alone so “GO ANYWAY.”

Inspirationally Yours,

Mr. I.N.S.P.I.R.E.

(Inspiring & Notably Spreading Positivity In Relationships Everywhere)

Arise, and go down to the potter’s house, and there I will cause thee to hear my words. Then I went down to the potter’s house, and, behold, he wrought a work on the wheels (Jeremiah 18:2-3).

When a potter makes his creations out of clay, he spends a lot of time turning it into a perfect masterpiece. However, like many things of this world, they will have wears and tears, scratches, and cracks that will cause it not to look like its original condition, and make it less valuable. The same goes for us as people. Through time and experiences we have had things to make us have cracks. You may have cracks of Insecurities from previous relationships, or cracks of Envy/Hatred for a friend or family member, even cracks of your Spirituality. (Not to mention the scratches of financial difficulties, bitterness, and loneliness.)

I’m pretty certain you may have encountered situations that did not work out, such as a relationship with a man. A lot of times you go into the relationship with all of your cracks and expecting for that man to fix them. It is not his job to fix your cracks! But the awesome thing is we can and should go the Master Potter, our Lord and Savior. He is the one that created you and surely he is the one that will fix you. It says in Jeremiah 18:6 O house of Israel, cannot I do with you as this potter? saith the LORD. Behold, as the clay is in the potter’s hand, so are ye in mine hand, O house of Israel. You know it’s so much easier to deal with problems knowing that you have someone that will deal with them for you. Also, after getting repaired and rejuvenated at the Potter’s house you can feel a lot better leaving a relationship knowing that it wasn’t nothing you did but, it was because of the other person’s insecurities and/or infidelities.

So ladies when you step into a new situation, before going to the mall, the nail shop, or salon, make sure you go to the Potter’s House first.

Inspirationally Yours,

Mr. I.N.S.P.I.R.E.

(Inspiring & Notably Spreading Positivity In Relationships Everywhere)

We are all in search for Greener Grass. As we come to the end of another year, we reflect on all the things we went through in 2009. We try to get rid of all the bad and foster the good things for the upcoming year; see what changes we need to make and generate new promises for 2010. We will leave certain things behind for things we feel is better for us; but who is to say it will be better? For example, you leave a job because you feel you found a better position, or perhaps you leave this person for someone you feel is more right for you- believing the grass is much greener on the other side of the fence. However, you come to find out that the beautiful green grass was really just a bunch of weeds or it’s only green in certain areas. With everything we do or every decision we make we should not leave one thing for something else; we should simply leave because it’s time to leave. If you’re in a situation, whether a career or relationship, and you have tried all you can to revive it, yet still no change, it’s okay to take it off life support. Some things you can’t control and it’s not meant for you to control, so it’s okay sometimes to just let it go. You must realize dropping something because you have problems for something you feel will make you happier can be a big mistake, because although you’re not dealing with the old problems you may find yourself faced with different problems; which will ultimately have you in the same predicament.

Once you decide to put something behind- then it’s off to a new voyage. When something else comes along it’s a whole new adventure for you to explore. Don’t expect the grass to be greener, but instead, MAKE it greener. You have to be willing to water and nourish your lawn to make it flourish. Beyonce said “Let me upgrade you… I know you beat the block, but I’m the light that keeps the street on.” Appreciate it for what it is and if it is better it’s because you made it better. In the book of Isaiah 40:6 all flesh is grass, and all its loveliness is like the flower of the field. 7- The grass withers, the flower fades, because the breath of the Lord blows upon it; surely the people are grass. If we are like grass then we wither because God allows it to happen. Things happen for a reason. We should always learn from our past but only to build towards our future. Maybe there wasn’t enough light, perhaps not enough room to grow, or most importantly, wasn’t built under a strong foundation. If you have the right field, with the right fertile soil to plant, along with the light of Christ, the grass will truly be greener on the other side.

Inspirationally Yours,

Mr. I.N.S.P.I.R.E.

(Inspiring & Notably Spreading Positivity In Relationships Everywhere)

There seems to be a big dilemma about how a lot of established black men have a thing for white women. The main argument is that white women are less dramatic and are easier get along with than black women or other women of color. In a lot of ways this seems to be true, and black women believe black men go that route because they want a weak-minded woman and want to be with someone they can run all over. But is that really being weak or being submissive? In the 11th chapter of 1 Corinthians it says in verse 8 & 9, 8-For the man is not of the woman: but the woman of the man. 9-Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man. So perhaps white women are doing what they are supposed to do. I know that non-white women can be and are submissive to their mates, however, the biggest difference seems to be that the majority of white women already are submissive and black women have to be submissive, instead of it coming naturally. The current Independent Movement by women has also conformed women in the black community to feel like they don’t need a man and can do everything on their own. To be honest I think it’s great that a woman has the strength, will, and intellect of being able to take care of herself, but it’s not about needing a man but WANTING a strong, good man, and being malleable to him. What is the point in being all Ms. Independent and can’t nobody tell you nothing, but knowing deep down you’ll trade it all for a husband and a family. Nonetheless, as much as your supposed to be there for your mate, a man has to be there for the woman as well; for it also says in the 11th chapter of 1 Corinthians, 11-Nevertheless neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord. 12-For as the woman is of the man, even so is the man also by the woman; but all things of God.

So how about you can be my baby, it don’t matter as long as you come from the Lord.

Inspirationally Yours,

Mr. I.N.S.P.I.R.E.

(Inspiring & Notably Spreading Positivity In Relationships Everywhere)

Stop trying to be married before your married. Make sense right? However, a lot of women seem to be guilty cooperates of this heinous crime. Woman have a misconception that if they have a man, especially if he’s a man that you see yourself marrying, that you have to do everything for him. YOU DO NOT have to go all out for a man that is not your husband! This is bad in a couple of ways, first off it’s a set up because what if you give a person your all and it turns out he doesn’t want to be with you, or you find out he’s cheating on you. One thing I’ve learned about life is that you can’t change a person; neither does that person have to change. As a business major I always hear the phrase “With high risk comes high rewards or high failure.” In relationship that is very relative. The old saying to never put all of your eggs in one basket, and why should you if it’s not necessary. No matter how much you try to rush a relationship it has to go through different seasons or trials to determine if it’s real.

I had a friend who was talking to three different women, I know sounds bad, but hear me out: First girl was almost finish with her bachelors in college. Second girl already graduated and was working. Third was just starting college. After all was said and done the one girl he was most interested in was the one who just started college. As you may be just as confused as me, I asked why he chose her, he said because she had the most standards. Not only did she have standards for the man she wanted to date, but for herself as well.

As much as you may like a guy the worse thing you can do is he give him something that he, one- doesn’t deserve, and two- that goes against your standards. Of course some guys will shy away from a woman who values herself, but that’s not the type of man you would want anyway. If he can’t meet your standards then he doesn’t deserve you, and if you chose that person anyway, then you’re lowering your value of yourself. So instead of high risk comes high reward in a relationship it’s more like with high standards comes high rewards.

So ladies, keep up your standards and be ready to receive your prize!

Inspirationally Yours,

Mr. I.N.S.P.I.R.E.

(Inspiring & Notably Spreading Positivity In Relationships Everywhere)