Ask The Love Doctor!
In this issue, Dr. Love answers questions from a Mr. Mom to a concerned mother whose daughter is heading down the wrong road. As always he answers the questions honest and from a Christian male point of view. Submit your questions to DrLove@gossipsister.com we will always respect your privacy. Enjoy!
Dr. Love
I lost my job 2 months ago and since then my wife have been holding down the bills. In the meantime I have been a stay at home dad while looking for a job. Is it sad to say I enjoy staying home with the kids, cooking, and cleaning more than I would like to get a job? Mr. Mom
No it’s not sad to say! Actually I would to thank you because we need more men like you in the world. You are the perfect example of a team player for your family/father figure and you did not let your ego get in the way (which doesn’t happen very often). Never be ashamed of the value you bring to your family no matter the role you play. As long as you do your best to contribute and your family agrees to your responsibilities then you should feel really good about yourself.
Dr. Love
My boyfriend and I have been engaged for 2.5 years and he often introduces me as his wife. Every time I ask him about setting a date he becomes upset and say what we have is working. Is he just stringing me along? Frustrated
Yes. It sounds like he’s getting cold feet. Something is holding him back from taking the next step. There is no reason why he should become upset with you about discussing your future. Try to have someone close to him discuss this situation and maybe they can help him through this issue. If this doesn’t work then I suggest counseling. After counseling if the situation continues then you may want to re-think your relationship.
Dr. Love
I am a mother of a 14 year old boy crazy daughter. Is there anything I can do or say that will help her understand her worth? She went from honor roll to a C student; I am concerned she is slowing earning a reputation. A Mothers Love
That’s a tough one. You will probably need to find someone who is close to her age that will mentor her through life or an organization. She needs here about the following topics: her future, sex, males, education, religion (if you are a Christian), and self respect from a different perspective in order for the message to become clear. This person/group needs to be a little bit older than her preferably a college student with a good head on their shoulders, but has a swagger/cool demeanor, otherwise if you connect her with someone who can’t relate to the message it will go in one ear and out the other. This process will not be easy, but it will be the best. Maybe you can check your local HBCU and see if they have a summer program that gives young women mentors. Also try to reach out to the Greek lettered organizations Aka’s, Zeta’s, Delta’s, Sigma Gamma Rho’s, they have great leadership skills and a strong influence on the community. Good luck and let me know the results.
Dr. Love
My boyfriend and I have been planning a vacation to the Bahamas for nearly a year. Last month his baby’s mom called saying how the child needed this and that. He asked if it was okay for us to push our date back. I said yes but deep down I am furious. How should I handle this situation along with his baby’s mom calling whenever she likes to get whatever she wants? Irritated
I understand your frustration. You need to first ask him how does he feel about the situation (ex-girlfriend calling whenever she wants), and then express how you feel and try to come up with a solution that satisfies everyone. This could include child support, a set amount of money every month, limiting phone calls to only needs of kids etc. Don’t make this conversation an argument! If he starts to get offended just drop it and try again another day because nothing can be solved through arguing.
Dr. Love
My husband and I just welcomed our first baby 5 weeks ago. All I want to do is be around and hold the baby and I feel my husband is getting a little jealous. How do I divide my time as a new mom and wife? Mom and Wife
Create a schedule for yourself. Dedicate a certain amount of time everyday to your husband and stick to it. Make sure he feels included because you don’t won’t your husband to dislike the baby or get attention from some where else. Babies can make or break a relationship, so please take care of your family and find away to create a balance.
Dr. Love
My sister accidently sent me a text message intended for her boyfriend saying “I love you too but you promised you’d never hit me again” should I say something to her about it? Sisters Keeper
Stay out of it and just pray about the sitituation. I know its tough, but love is thicker than blood, just keep a shoulder for her to cry on and never judge her.
Dr. Love
My BFF does everything with me and my boyfriend. He is starting to complain that she is always around. Should I say something to him or her? She was there before him. BFF
There needs to be a balance. Your friend needs to understand that you and your boyfriend need your time together and there will be plenty of time for her. If she is your real BFF she will understand this. If she gets a man trust me she’ll disappear, so don’t feel guilty about having this conversation with her.
Dr. Love
My girl and I have been rocky for sometime. I met another girl whom I really care for and finally called it quits with my longtime girlfriend. She called a couple months ago saying she’s pregnant. How do I know this isn’t a trap? Stuck
Well the bad thing is you won’t know if it is a trap until you’re trapped. You need to think as if this baby is real and start planning for it. When I say plan I don’t mean going out and buying merchandise I mean saving money, explaining the sitituation to your girl if she doesn’t already know. Think of a plan of action visitation, child support, etc, get mentally prepared. The only thing you can do is be patient and act as if it’s not a big deal to your ex when you speak to her about it. This way the truth will come out because you are not giving her the reaction that she wants. IE acting crazy, stressing, trying to get back with her, etc. Most ex’s don’t want to see you happy, so you need to act cool even if your not. If she is pregnant and you plan on not being with her, remember there’s a possibility that your child could be raised by someone else.
Dr. Love
You gave someone some advice about going to marriage counseling before getting engaged/setting the date. I just have to say, my boyfriend and I just started going since we have been talking about marriage. Although we are determined to make it work, it has brought out A LOT of questions we need to talk about and we have been together for 3 years!! Thanks Dr. Love for the advice
No problem. Please continue counseling throughout your relationship even after marriage because you’ve only just begun.
Dr. Love
My relationship with my girlfriend is so strange. It’s like we break up often only to have hot and passionate make up sessions. Is this normal? Wondering
Yes for fling, but not for a relationship. Here are a few questions that you need to ask each other…. What happens if one of us is paralyzed and we can’t have sex anymore were does that leave our relationship? Are we the best of friends? Why do we argue? What would happen if we didn’t have passionate make ups, would we still be together? It’s great that you guys have a physical attraction towards each other, but a friendship establishing a friend ship is much more important.
Please feel free to comment on any of the questions and answers here!
