G.O.S.S.I.P. Sister

“If you can’t learn to accept yourself then no one else will want to”- a quote I heard on the radio one night as I was trying to fall asleep… Been stuck in my mind ever since.

A lot of times in a relationship, or even while not in one, you tend to take notice to certain patterns, traits, or characteristics that have been with you through the test of time. It’s hard for me to decipher which of these are bad for me or just tend to have bad effects. For instance, I’ve recently discovered that I make myself very available to people; and it’s not just to a significant other, but even friends. I always try to be there when someone needs me and I make sure they know it by always responding to texts promptly, catching the phone when it rings, calling right back if I missed it, and then if I don’t get an answer, text to let them know “hey! I called you back!” I live through my phone and I feel no shame about that. I have access to all my email accounts on there, my calendar, task reminders; it’s my lifeline for both business & pleasure purposes.Before you break out the violins for what sounds like a sad case from the movie He’s Just Not That Into You, know that I am a very busy person- I have a life! I’m in no position to drop everything and make my calendar available when someone says jump! That’s not the availability I am talking about here.

Back to the subject at hand- how much availability is too much? I’ve read many times that someone being too available (especially a woman) is a no-no! I’m trying to figure out if the actual trait of being available is bad or is it just the effect it has from people (i.e. people taking advantage). In addition to, since I am a person who tends to make myself available I, in a way, expect the same treatment in return. Which isn’t fair to assume, because as the saying goes- “there’s only one me.” I can’t expect someone to do something for me just because I would do it for them. Making sense? But since I do expect reciprocated treatment my feelings get hurt when I don’t receive it. If I can multi-task text all while in a meeting; conducting dance rehearsal; making calls; shopping; trying on clothes; eating; blogging; driving; ice skating backwards while doing back-axle flips, then why can’t you?! …Oh hold on, my Blackberry just went off…

With that said, during our times of being single I think we all should look at ourselves and re-evaluate what works for us and what doesn’t. What can we live with? What’s healthy, what’s not. What needs to start and what needs to stop. There’s obvious flaws like an insecurity of some sort that I KNOW (without a shadow of a doubt) needs to be assessed and worked on, but it’s the trickier things like a trait or characteristic that could be viewed as acceptable but just taken for granted OR unhealthy and flat out needs to cease.

What assessments or self-evaluations do you need to do?

In the meantime…

Still Single,

Gossiper

P.S. Since this is a column for singles and we are in this together (LOL) what topic do you suggest I blog on for next month’s column? Leave your ideas in the comment section or email me- chondra@gossipsister.com. Thanks!