Ask The Love Doctor!
Welcome!! As usual, Dr. Love is pleased to be your one stop shop for all love and relationship advice. He tells it like it is but keep it uplifting and positive at the same time. We had an interesting question this week. GS feels whether we agree or disagree with ones’ personal life, its not our place to judge, but our place to treat each question with respect and dignity. Enjoy!
Dear Dr.Love there’s this boy that I like and we exchange glances across the cafeteria at school several times a day, he always looks at me while walking down the hall and when he walks by me at any given moment… every time I see him I get distracted and it almost seems that every time he sees me he does too, how do I know if he likes me back also im a boy so its not as easy as just asking him –M.
You’re right! I see going about this two ways. 1. Talking to someone that you know that has had conversations with this guy or spent time with him. Gain a perspective on him, what is he into, what does he like, is he gay, general conversation etc, without giving your self away. 2. Start a conversation with him, try to bond with him, (I know you got game, so use it) become his friend first and just see were it goes from there. Look for signs maybe a look or a sense physical activity such as touching you on your back or compliments on your look or clothing. Discuss his sexuality, bring up questions about an attractive woman that you know to gain his view on women and maybe ask him what’s his view on gays, bi-sexual etc males and females. (this should take place after a few day’s in general conversation, maybe something in entertainment news that saw or heard about etc. be creative and don’t give yourself away) I will bill you for the SWAG lesson later. Lol. Let me know how this turns out good luck!
Dr. Love this may be a question for you and/or Mr. Inspire. How do you motivate a man (my husband) without crossing the line? Before we got married he had ideas about what to do with himself. Now it seems as though he is content just existing. He is very sensitive but I have got to find a way to tell him to get back on the career track because I cannot support this family alone. He is currently recovering from surgery but expects me to work then come home and resume the duties I did when he was working i.e. cook clean etc. He is able to do things around the house I don’t expect him to move the furniture, or do any heavy lifting or anything strenuous but after having a more extensive surgery myself just a few months ago I resumed my regular duties or most of them in a matter of a few weeks. He had two procedures performed by two Dr’s and one has cleared him to return to his normal activities. What or how can I tell him to get it together?thanks,Keep it Simple.
Well the first thing you have to do is lead by example. (If you are not already) Ask your self are you exceeding expectations in all areas of your life? If the answer yes then great, you need to just voice how you feel and take baby steps by asking him to do simple tasks/challenges and keep building upon that. Also compliment him on what he is doing well to help build confidence to provide him with the ability to do more, so he will continuing to challenge himself. If you are not exceeding in everything in your life maybe this is a chance for both of you to challenge each other by setting goals that you both want to achieve in life and make it a competition, make it fun and keep providing positive reinforcement. This will hopefully jump start his ability to perform most men are competitive and don’t like to loose especially to their women. So have a discussion with him to set some SMART (realistic) goals, give each other deadlines, divide chores maybe he cleans the kitchen on Monday while you cook and then reverse rolls on Tuesday and ETC. Discuss with him some things you do well and things that you would like to differently along with solutions on how you are going to accomplish your goals. Whatever you do stay positive and supportive using teamwork and leading by example. Teamwork makes the dream work! Good luck and don’t give up stand by your husband not matter what.
Dr. Love, My boyfriend of 2 years decided to bring in the New Year with his boys at a club and left me home? How should I feel about that? Bitter
Well it depends on your relationship. Does he always spend time with you? If he does then this maybe ok, just make sure next year he takes this day next year and spends it with you. Relationships are all about compromise, but at the same time it has to be equal. With guys you never want them to feel trapped sometimes we like to spend time with our friends, nothing against you. Question number 2: Did you guys already have plans for the New Year? If so, then you need to address the issue and let him know how that you are unhappy about him canceling a night with you. Question number 3: Did you ever express to him that you wanted to spend New Year’s with him? Sometime we don’t communicate what we want from our partner’s and assume that they know what we want and then in return we get mad when they fail to meet our expectations. I hope this helps.
Dr. Love – This Christmas my boyfriend and I of 3 years decided to go all out. I got him a leather coat, a pair of shoes, cologne, 2 button up shirts, 2 PlayStation 3 games, and a movie on blu-ray. He got me a card and some bath and body works. I know it’s the thought that count but I am offended. How should I handle this? Been Played
Lol! I feel you. We have to remember its better to give than to receive. Sounds like they’re may have been a communication issue (Giving him the benefit of the doubt), so for the next holiday the both of you need to decide on a min and a maximum amount of money you are going to spend on gifts or just pick out an expensive gift, to ensure you get your return on investment. Until next year comes around make him by you expensive dinners and take you on a shopping spree lol.
Hope you enjoyed this edition. Email your questions to drlove@gossipsister.com your identity will always be respected.
