Single & The City
Hello my single ladies (and hello to the men if you are taking a peek & married divas if you have come to silently laugh at the trials & tribulations you so luckily got to leave behind)! I’ve honestly been at a loss of words about being single nowadays… I mean really, what more can I say? Well, right when I thought I should retire this column all together I stumbled across the following video:
*standing ovation*
Well, how about that?! SMH (shaking my head)… So now let’s acknowledge the fact that the remainder of us single women have reached a drought, a shortage, if you will, and that most of us will never marry! And I don’t like color lines so let’s generalize this and just reflect on your own community and/or circumstances in the dating realm, if you will. As you get older do you feel the need to settle or furthermore stick to your guns (requirements)? I am feeling like the young woman at the 3:46 mark, there are certain things, as single women, that we don’t feel the need to settle on, and if we did it would be considered selling ourselves short. At 6:40 another woman says settling is not an option for her at this point because she’s waited so long, and I feel her on that. If we were to settle after a long-length of time of being single/unmarried then the whole screening process of accepting, reviewing, and denying applications for the significant other has been done in vain! I do believe that we can, over time, reasses what’s important; what’s not; what’s a requirement vs. what’s a preference (there’s a difference); and so on.
Of course, as I’ve said before, I don’t feel we should be running around like chickens with our heads cut off looking for THE PERFECT PERSON, but finding the perfect person FOR YOU is ideal. There’s a quote I saw on Twitter that said- “love him for the man he wants to be and the man he almost is.” You have common sense, so use it. Seeing a man trying to become rather than just NOT IT is better than nothing, and I don’t think that’s settling. Women have intuition so use it to your best judgment. I quite often find that if it’s not one thing, it’s another: he is sweet, but he has an attitude problem; he is affectionate, but has a temper; he makes good money, but lacks lifelong goals; he is into you, but just not enough to settle down right now; nice-looking, but arrogant; he is honest, but the truth hurts… I mean I get that no one is going to have every quality on lock, but some stuff is a definite deal breaker… That is so hard to accept and deal with. That is the most annoying thing I am dealing with right now in all my Single Lady Glory.
Now, let’s move on to the next subject: The Back-Pocket Girl at the 5:00 mark. Single ladies, we get caught up in being this girl way too often, do we not? You may have it “going on,” but he also got 4 other “got it going on chicks” in heavy rotation!!! SMH… Do not get stuck in that backpocket; do you, and keep YOUR best interest in mind. Once again, this is where common sense and intuition plays a factor in deciphering who’s real and who’s not.
Being single is a game. Love is a game. Life… well, I don’t think life is a game, but you have to be strategic about it all. I found this video interesting because it becomes more and more apparent that being a single black woman is pratically turning into an epidemic these days… And I’ve become apart of those statistics…Ask me do I care?
Until Next Time…
Still Single,
Gossiper
