Ask The Love Doctor
Greetings! I hope everyone’s Christmas holiday & New Year’s Eve was blessed! It’s a new year and we have new questions. This year we encourage everyone, men and women, to submit questions they may have ever pondered over or that they think would be beneficial for someone to receive an answer to. Instructions on submitting questions at the bottom. Enjoy!
I am dating this guy and I rarely see him because we live a nice little distance away from each other. When we do get a chance to visit with each other I don’t want to stay around him too long because I don’t want to overkill the relationship or have us get tired of each other… Am I going about this wrong? What is the the real way to protect a relationship from dying out??? -Protective Girl
You are going about this the wrong way. You should want to be around him a lot to see how you really feel about him especially if you plan on this relationship getting serious. Remember one day you may be married and you will be spending the rest of your life together, so if your relationship can’t make it through a few hours or days of quality time then how are you going to spend a lifetime together?
My boyfriend is a sweetheart. He is super sweet and has a lot of qualities that I adore. However, he has a mean streak from hell. He does hurtful things sometimes. I know no one is perfect but how is it that I can work around this flaw of his?- Imperfect Perfection
The goal is not to work around this flaw, it’s to work through this flaw. Express to him how you feel about his temper and how it makes you feel. Hopefully he is receptive to the criticism and improves. If not, you may want to suggest counseling. Remember admitting you have a problem is start to recovery and you work from there. If he doesn’t want to work on it for the better of the relationship then you may want to think about your future with this guy, you don’t want to be in abusive relationship. You want to be with someone that builds you up not tear you down.
How can I tell my fiancé’ that I don’t want to have a joint account? She has money-spending problems and I don’t want her tapping into my money. Help a brotha out.
Two options:
1. Open a joint account that does not receive your pay check or hers. Each month both of you contribute a certain amount to the account and determine a spending limit for both to spend. Review this account monthly and both of you should determine whether this was a good month or one of you over spent. This should establish money management skills. This works really well and your money is still protected!
2. You can tell her no and provide her with some money management skill sets. Such as sitting down monthly and determining how much money she has to spend in order to keep from over spending. (Budgeting)
Money is the number one reason people in up in divorce/breaking up, so this is an issue you guys need to resolve. Good luck!
Do guys really believe that you can’t turn a “promiscuous woman” (for sake of better words) into a housewife? I’m asking because we all have a past but who is any of us to judge? – Skeleton in Closet
Not all guys believe this and you are right everyone has a past. You just have to find that one that can understand that you can commit to them and leave your past in the past.
My boyfriend of 2 years (who recently said he wants to consider marriage with me) won’t let me meet his kids; is this a red flag?
It depends. When it comes to kids I think people should be very cautious when introducing strangers to their kids these days. However if he is really considering marrying you it is important that you establish a relationship with the kids. I would talk to him and gain his perspectives on why he hasn’t introduced you and determine were to go from there.
Submit your questions to drlove@gossipsister.com. Include your own alias name if you want, or else, to protect your identity, we will create one for you. Your privacy is always our priority!
