G.O.S.S.I.P. Sister

First of all, MERRY CHRISTMAS to all! I pray you have a blessed and happy holiday! Now, to business as usual- I present to you the latest edition to the column that answers every question thrown its way: Ask The Love Doctor! Enjoy & may you be blessed from the advice given!

When my parents found out I was pregnant they forced me and my boyfriend of 3 months to get married. Our child was delivered stillborn 2 months ago. Should I stay in the marriage? -Lost

Marriage is very serious you are taking an oath before god saying that you will you will love the same person unconditionally, that a big commitment. I don’t think you should be married just on the strength that you are questioning whether you made the right decision or not. This is easier said than done. It sounds like you were forced to do something that you really didn’t want to do, which does not result into a healthy relationship. I’m not saying that your relationship can’t ever work, but I think that’s a decision that both of you should agree on and it should be something special no questions asked. Just a suggestion you may want to try counseling. Good luck!

I am 34 with 2 kids. Many men run when I mention my children. Is there still hope that I’ll find love? -Hopeful

Of course there is still hope you just have to believe, and be patient. Don’t settle for just anyone, but at the same time be open and watch closely for signs for the right one. Sometimes the answer is closer than we think. It may not come when you want, but it’s always on time!!!!!!!! Good Luck!!!!!!!!

I found text messages in my dad’s phone from a woman. My parents have been married for 29 years and I feel he has betrayed our family. How do I tell my mom? -Payback

This is a sticky situation. You don’t want to tell your mom though. This is something that you should communicate with your father to gain his perspective on the situation because sometimes what we see is no what we think. If he his cheating communicate with him the consequences he could face and work on how you can resolve the issue. This should probably be you and your father’s secret you don’t want to hurt your mom. So don’t bring fuel to the fire, bring water (Solutions).

Miss Gossip, you are a newly wed; do you think marriage counseling is beneficial? I recently got engaged and want to know if it’s worth it or not. ~Preparing for Marriage

Miss Gossip:

I so believe marriage counseling is beneficial. Marriage counseling is not to input doubt about whether or not to get married, it is to get you on the same page going IN to the marriage. It allows each person to express their point of view and definition of what marriage is. It explores the roles each spouse plays in the marriage (i.e. will the wife be a stay at home mom?).  It also covers topics not normally discussed everyday; education/career expectations of spouses, finances (including recreational spending, joint accounts, etc), children and where they will be raised (be it a house in the country or apartment in the city), retirement, etc.  So in a nutshell I think it is beneficial to consult with a marriage counselor, preferably a Christian marriage counselor, in the beginning and throughout. It’s like fire proofing the relationship. Good luck to you!

Miss Gossip, I know you can’t relate to this directly, but from one wife to another- I am struggling with being a married down-low lesbian, as a wife, how should I tell my husband and how can I get right with God and convert back? -The L Word

Miss Gossip:

I guess I have to ask a few questions that will in turn help you answer yours. What is it that you want in a spouse? Do you want a husband or a life partner? Only you can answer this. If you are seriously ready to make a change you have to first repent to God. Once you do that, He will forgive you and remember it no more. Whether it was with a woman or man you have cheated on your husband (physically and emotionally). I suggest you seek counseling. What is it that attracts you to women? Do you feel you have to be with a man to make others happy (i.e. family, church organization, etc)? Are you in love with your husband and does he make you happy? As you go to counseling (if you decide to go) pray and ask God to reveal answers to you about your life, childhood, and desires. I would be honest and tell my husband what has been going on. I would invite him to come to counseling also. Show him you are really trying and being proactive about your marriage if the marriage is what you are trying to restore. I would cut all ties with your female partners. You didn’t become a lesbian overnight so don’t expect a change overnight. Be patient and honest with yourself and respect your husband’s feelings during this time. Pray, pray, and pray. Best of luck to you!

Send in any questions you may have to drlove@gossipsister.com!