Ask The Love Doctor
Here’s this week’s Q&A column. Thanks for your submissions thus far; you make this column what it is! This week even Gossiper had a question directed to her! 
Contact information to send in your confidential questions are at the bottom!
I am a successful professional in the health care field and my boyfriend works for the post office (been there 6 years). When we talk about marriage he states he has an issue with his potential wife making more money than him. Although I have never made him feel inferior and don’t plan on quitting, what can I do to assure him he is and would be the head of our relationship? – Breadwinner
Dr. Love:
Breadwinner,
There is nothing you can do to change his train of thought. All you can do is continue to be yourself and let your actions speak. He either will change in time or will never change. It sounds like an excuse, and he is using your finances as the issue for not getting married and maybe you should back off with the marriage thing. It is known that women these days are more educated, and therefore will attract higher salaries. If it continues to be an issue maybe you need to sit back and reevaluate your relationship. If your income is the issue for not getting married then why is he with you? Time waits for no one and you should not keep wasting your years with someone who has no intentions on marrying you.
My co worker is super hot! He has casually dated a few girls at work but nothing serious. He asked if I wanted to catch a movie one day, should I cross the line? – Possible Line Crosser
Dr. Love:
Possible Line Crosser,
I wouldn’t date someone I work with, and if he has dated a few co-workers then you should back off and take that as a red flag. Most office flings do not work and if this hook up did work, you have to worry about the other women at work disrespecting or discussing you. Work is stressful enough and you do not need the added stress.
Do men cheat because they were tempted (or put in a tempting situation by the female) or simply because they wanted to?-Just Curious
Dr. Love:
Just Curious,
It’s a combination of both. Ladies you must realize that there are a shortage of men, and even more of a shortage of good men. The reality is what one woman is tired of another woman would cherish. The few men out there know this, and some use it to their advantage. In healthy relationships temptation is not really a factor. The problem in relationships starts to occur when the woman gets too comfortable (stop getting her hair done, dressing down, and not keeping herself up) that can create a division within a relationship and start having the man looking for all the things he used to enjoy in you. The men that cheat just because were not meant to be in a relationship. If you were dating a guy and you fell into his rotation and you forced him into a relationship- it will not last. He gave you that title so you can share it with your family and friends while he will continue to chase women. It’s both.
Mr. I.N.S.P.I.R.E.:
Well in reality it’s both A & B, or C- All the above. The reason a man might cheat is the same reason a man who is single will sleep with a lot of women- because they want to satisfy a craving. As crazy as it may sound, it’s almost equivalent to having a sweet tooth and you feel like you just have to have some type chocolate or candy to comfort your urge. It tastes good so they got to have it! So you’re like why be with me then? Because honestly they see you as more than sex, but someone they really care about, even their best friend. Not saying that it’s right because it’s not. Now a woman may give a man all the satisfaction he can handle, and he’s not eager to mess around; this is where temptation can play a factor. Because a lot of times temptation just may occur when your caught up in the moment, and not something he’s just been wanting to do. Of course the female may have been plotting it for a long time, which unfortunately happens a lot.
I recently went on a blind date set up by a friend. Surprisingly I had a good time. He had great conversation, was funny, and cute. It has been a week now and he hasn’t called, should I call him? – Blind Dater
Dr. Love:
Hey Blind Dater,
I would have to say no. You may have enjoyed your date and would like to know him better, but the reality is the feeling is not mutual. If he has not called you then he is not interested. He was nice and continued the date as planned, but he obviously was not interested enough to plan another date. You can call if you want and try to hold a conversation. If you suggest to hangout again and he has an excuse of why he cannot make the date, then you may need to make the step and delete his number.
My fiancés friends don’t respect our relationship. They hang out at our house all day and always drag him to clubs and parties. If the shoe was on the other foot he would have a problem. How can I get him to see my point of view? – Frustrated
Dr. Love:
Frustrated,
This is pretty common in relationships and is something you must address. It is true that if the shoe was on the other foot that he would call your girlfriend out on the situation whenever you discuss her. It is a step that a man must take, and a real friend would understand. If your fiancé constantly turns his friend down in going out, then the friend will get the clue and find another buddy to hangout with.
Gossiper, I know Dr. Love is a guy but I need a woman’s opinion. My co worker and I have become really good friends this past year. She is in a relationship with her live in boyfriend. The last few times I’ve hung out at her house, her boyfriend has made inappropriate remarks to the point where I was uncomfortable. I am the only single one in our circle. Should I say something? -Stuck in the Middle
Gossiper:
I think that depending on your bond with your co-worker you could either a) tell her what’s going on and how it makes you uncomfortable so she can confront &/or consult with her BF; b) stop the boyfriend dead in his tracks on the next inappropriate comment he makes and nip it in the bud without involving your co-worker; or c) just distance yourself from the boyfriend by not hanging out with your co-worker while she’s with him. All options, with the exception of “C” could possible get messy. If you and the co-worker don’t have a tight-knit bond then she may not take it so well, flip the script on you, or cause ill-feelings; ultimately you’d lose a friend and would cause tension at the workplace. I, personally, would’ve told the boyfriend at the first comment to “stop right there,” if it continued I would stop hanging around him. Good luck!
Email your questions to drlove@gossipsister.com. Your privacy will be respected, and honest, helpful answers will be given in return! Thanks!
