Single & The City
I was watching one of my favorite shows Khloe & Kourtney Take Miami, and Khloe said something that I totally identified with; she said that when it comes to a guy she keeps her guard so far up that it causes her to “self-destruct,” leading to a ruined relationship. I totally get that, and unfortunately I can relate to her statement, “worrying about protecting myself, ruins a great opportunity.”
After I jokingly said to my friend that we should just give up (in reference to “The Search”), she brought me back down to reality, saying- “We’re just in our me time, so when our husbands find us we won’t be searching for me time, instead, fully embracing the we time as husband & wife!” *ding!ding!ding!* Right answer Raniesha!!! (I said I was going to quote her because I would feel bad taking the credit for that one) But, I couldn’t have said it better myself (well, maybe I could have if I wasn’t busy throwing myself a pity party, ha!).
I left off last month with the realization that being single is all part of the process, and it is. What’s also part of the process is dating. I can’t date if I don’t bring down those walls I talked about in the beginning of this blog. I was reading over a lesson that my sister passed down to me from a church conference she went to entitled “Preparing for Marriage by Dating.” (After all, she is married so what does she really need with it? Oh, let’s give it to the poor single, lonely, and aging-not-getting-any-younger sister…Kidding! I’m not poor or lonely! Ha!) In the lesson I noticed that there were different types of dating listed (some I had never even heard of or considered):
Career Dating- dating that advances yourself professionally
Casual Dating- nonchalant and informal
Closet Dating- dating done secretly (Ha! That reminds me of a college campus!)
Community Dating- dating that involves more than one person (Also reminds me of a college campus)
Crisis Dating- dating that is done on the rebound
Convenience Dating- dating based on availability
The one that a lot of us single ladies get caught up in is the convenience dating I noticed. Isn’t it interesting how a guy is “so into you” and wants to “take it to the next level” but all on his time?!?! HA! I’ve been caught in convenience dating before and let me tell you- it’s for the birds. RUN the other direction and fast… Convenience dating is intermingled with Casual Dating- nonchalant and definitely informal, and might I add- rude?! None of the types of dating I listed is what I’m interested in, it’s a recipe for disaster, especially if the two people aren’t on the same page with it.
I have no business trying to date someone through Committed Dating (dating exclusively focused on one another) if they are interested in Convenience Dating (recap- dating based on availability), right? Time to cut the bull…I suggest all my single ladies (cue the music) to do the same! 
In the meantime…
Still Single,
Gossiper
2 comments
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I agree that both people should be on the level/agreement in regards to what type of arrangement they are entering into. However, I don’t see a reason to have your guard up if your just in the dating phase. IDK, that’s just me. I don’t know I don’t really have a guard because I just always figure that I am a good judge of character and have spent most of my life watching women be mistreated so I just always feel like the signs are there. Plus, the no-good men never seem to hide who they are, the women just always seem to accept anything that comes along.