Knowing Your Limits

So here lately I have been completely stressed out I mean to the point where I was pulling my hair out – literally. I was stressed at work because I am contract (have been for 2 years) and although I have no complaints about my job, corporate can be very messy. With the economy being in a recession (which I am not participating in) I need to have a back up plan. I commute over an hour a day each way which takes a toll on my body. By the time I get home I don’t even have energy to enjoy dinner with my husband. I usually sit on the couch and fall asleep within an hour. I’m a newly-wed; that should be a no-no! I am trying to complete nursing school through a distance learning program but it is a lot harder than I expected. Not only it is financially stressful, the material itself is hard and I have little direction seeing the school is in New York and I am in Texas! With the stress of school and work I tend to take things out on my new hubby. All last week, yesterday, and Monday I cried. I cried on my way to and from work. This shouldn’t be. I should be living the life with all the blessings I have received. I felt like the expectations had been set so high I was bound to fail at something. Oh yeah I did. I have always been an honor student, graduate with honors from high school and college. When I failed an OPEN BOOK test last week over library and internet…I knew something had to give BUT I began to get tunnel vision. I couldn’t see clearly or focus on the big picture. With all this said – I had to have a very long talk with God on my way into work today. I was stressed about school, work, and there was tension in my home because I was on constant edge. Rob didn’t know whether to speak or not (SMH). I realized that He will never put more on us than we can bear BUT that we should also know our limit and exercise good judgment. I was putting a lot of the pressure on myself. Although I want to finish this self pace program by October 2009 – meaning I would have to take 2 test in August and 2 in September. I’ve realize that I need to seek Him in EVERYTHING I do. Although I want to be finished by October, what is God’s plan? There isn’t a race to win. I may need to extend my goal to November where it will allow me to take one test per month (4 tests between August and November) and ease some of the stress. And with the little direction – Gossiper reminded me that God will always be there to direct me IF I allow Him to. While riding I was reminded that He will guide and direct us but we have to be still and quiet long enough to hear Him. My Husband comes second only to God and for that reason alone if the stress of work and school is beginning to affect my house hold I need to correct and do it QUICKLY! So I have decided that I am going to push the tests back a little and take them one by one. I am going to leave work at work and not bring it home with me, and I am going to truly enjoy the blessing of marriage that God has bestowed on me and focus on being the BEST wife I can be. God wouldn’t have blessed me with it if He didn’t want me to enjoy it. I am saying this to you my sisters that as women we often times don’t realize our limits. We will take on more and more before we snap or shut down. It is ok to say “NO” sometimes, or not answer the phone. It is ok to spend some alone time pampering ourself because we control the mood of our home and when we are not happy – no one is :)

Until next time…

Be Blessed

Miss Gossip

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