G.O.S.S.I.P. Sister

I’ve recently read the book, Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man, by Steve Harvey.  I must say I thoroughly enjoyed it.  Anyone that knows me personally can tell you I’m not a fan of reading books, but I finished this one in a day; I just couldn’t put it down.  I think I just have a thing for reading and learning more about relationships because, like Steve pointed out in the book, people think about; talk about; read about; and ask about relationships a great deal; and it’s true.  I would like to touch on a particular section of the book that hits close to home for me and a few other women I know personally.  The chapter at hand is entitled “Strong, Independent-and Lonely- Women;” emphasis on lonely.

Women are very strong creatures as you all definitely can attest to that.  We’ve been raised to be the backbone in times of adversity, and my generation has been raised to pride ourselves off being totally independent- get your degree, get your job, make your own money, provide for yourself, and the golden rule “DON’T RELY ON NO MAN TO TAKE CARE OF YOU!” Haha, it’s almost drilled into our heads with song after song as well (just listen to half the songs on the radio!)  Steve stresses many times throughout the book that men have 3 particular ways of showing their love for a woman: “professing, providing, and protecting.”  If we take away from all that then they don’t see a reason to be around; obviously we don’t need them.  Of course a man doesn’t mind if we have ourselves fully together, and they’d probably prefer you do, but Steve points out that if a man doesn’t have a chance to “exhibit his ability to provide or protect, then how can he possibly see himself professing his love to a woman who has not allowed him to feel like a man?”

I think a lot of times, as women, we think being dependent in any form is showing a sign of weakness.  If we express a need for anything then we’d feel in debt to a man or weak; maybe I’m just speaking for myself.  If I can’t do it for myself, supply it on my own, or have full control of my situation then I feel weak and vulnerable; I am not comfortable with that.  So instead, we listen to Webbie (I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T), Destiny’s Child (All my women who independent, throw yo hands up at me!), and Ne-Yo (That’s why I love her ’cause she got her own), we put our head up in the sky and let a good man pass us by, because “I don’t need nothing or no man to take care of me!”  Don’t get me wrong, there is NOTHING wrong with having yourself together and having your own, but don’t be afraid to allow a man to be a man!  It’s in a man’s DNA to feel needed and appreciated in a relationship (Steve said it, not me!)  So I believe it’s possible to fulfill that need by coming down from my high horse for a moment in time and allow the man’s gateway to open up to profess, protect, and provide.  Everyone knows how strong, independent, and successful you are as a woman; people around you see it, and so does your man- so what else are you trying to prove?

I absolutely loved the book and I can’t stop ramping and raving about it so it was only a matter of time until I blogged on at least one chapter; and I believe that chapter was a perfect subject for G.O.S.S.I.P.

Be Blessed!

~Gossiper~