How To Spot A Toxic Relationship

One of our Feature Bloggers of The Month, “Metamorphosis,” is a 25 year old recent graduate with a Bachelors Degree in Nursing who takes a strong interest in how to better herself mentally, spiritually, emotionally, and physically. During her free time she engages herself in self improvement books on religion, relationships, and investments. She is a recent member of “God Has DIVAs Too,” which is a group aimed to counsel and mentor young girls/women in the community.

There are many reasons women are attracted to Mr. Wrong. Since the beginning of time women have been mesmerized by “bad boys.” We seem to be attracted to the excitement of a rebel or to their charismatic ways. Many women have had very bad male role models while others are not quite sure of what they are looking for. Many women have been “Miss Goody Two-Shoes” for so long, prior to their adulthood, that they can’t wait to get involved with their opposite. It could be that they are trying to replace their father or trying to duplicate him, as I did. It could be that they suffer from low self-esteem and feel that a piece of a man is better than no man at all. Maybe the answer its that they simply don’t know how to recognize Mr. Wrong if he was standing right in front of them, which is usually the case. The list of reasons go on and on. These Mr. Wrongs come in all shapes and sizes as well as all ethnic groups and religious backgrounds. Just maybe, this sounds like you, or someone close to you.

It is important to know that God has greater in store for you! But in order for you to be ready for your Isaac, the real promise; you must recognize and avoid false promises. Ishmael always comes before Isaac! Whenever God is about to send you what you are supposed to have, the enemy will send you something that is not the promise. He wants you to be satisfied with Ishmael instead of waiting for Isaac. Whatever the reasons are that women keep choosing Mr. Wrong, we must stop! We must stop over looking the early warning signs and red flags. The Bible tells us not to be unequally yoked. After the wedding is too late to wake up and smell the coffee. Here are some tell-tell signs that your man has a toxic or an abusive personality.

Answer these 17 Questions

1. Does he abuse alcohol or drugs?
2. Does he have a dual personality, one minute nice and sweet the next minute cruel and mean?
3. Does he have a violent temper?
4. Did he grow up in an abusive household?
5. Does he blow up inappropriately about small incidents?
6. Is he a very jealous person and does he isolate you from family and friends?
7. Is he very controlling?
8. Does he consider himself a ladies man or a macho man?
9. Does he shove you or physically hurt you in any way?
10. Does he criticize you or say negative discouraging comments to you regularly?
11. Has he had many unsuccessful relationships or marriages?
12. Does he have low self-esteem and lots of insecurities?
13. Does he question you a lot about your whereabouts?
14. Does he think men are superior to women?
15. Does he have a healthy relationship with his mother? (Not too distant, not too much of a mama’s boy)
16. Does he change scripture to fit his twisted views?
17. Is he moody, having extreme highs or lows?

These could all be considered strong signs of Mr. Wrong, not to mention others such as: He’s married, or separated, he can’t keep a job, he lies constantly, and he’s unfaithful or unsaved. Ladies remember your worth. Don’t forget that you are the daughter of a King. You are a princess worthy of great honor and high esteem. Stop selling yourselves short and wait for your Isaac to find you. Trust God and lean not unto your own understanding, WAIT!

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